Let's Talk About the Proposal
I have been writing, researching and talking to fellow wedding vendors for months to put together a blog for those that are considering getting engaged, popping the question, asking for their hand in marriage, however you want to phrase it. Being that I am not a person that has ever considered being the one to propose, this has come as a struggle for me, to really peek behind the proverbial curtain and hopefully be able to provide some useful information and ideas for you for your proposal. Between the articles that I have found inspiration from (and sourced, because if not, I'd probably still hear about it from my 9th grade English teacher, lol) and some amazing fellow vendors in the New Orleans wedding industry, I think I have something you'll enjoy!
-Alicia
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Side Note: While much of the verbiage for "proposer" is directed toward the Men in many of the articles, it is my feeling that anyone in any type of relationship can be the one to propose if they are feeling like that works for them and their relationship. While I wish there were more articles out there geared toward all types of relationships, I'm working with what's available for references but please know that I see you, all of you and I am beyond excited for your love story to move to the next level, however that looks for you.
Much love from Pennywell Events
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As we start to approach the holiday season, many of you might start considering an engagement to your significant other. So I am here with some basic pieces of advice for you on your next step in your relationship.
“After careful deliberation, you’ve come to the conclusion that you like it, and have decided the only appropriate course of action is to put a ring on it. Asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you might just be the biggest decision anybody will ever make. If you aren’t completely prepared for a lifetime of loving their quirks (even the annoying ones), playing nice with their family, and enlisting your services for permanent spider-killing duty, stop reading right now. “
From The Art of Proposing by Chris Nesi
1. If you're in a relationship and you both start mentioning the future or goals for years to come as a couple, it's time. If you know they are the only person you want to have next to you on your life journey, it is time.
2. If you wait too long, your partner's mental clock starts ticking and they start to wonder when and if you'll propose.
3. If your significant other has gotten to the point where they are looking at rings and saying things that let you know they're ready, they have been ready for you to pop the question.
And at this point every time you take a photo together or go somewhere nice, or even bend down to tie your shoe, they are mentally checking their surprise face to make sure it doesn't come out before you say something important.
“Getting the wrong ring
It’s 2023, if your partner hasn’t told you exactly which ring they'd like, check out their social media accounts and ask their family and friends. There are so many options available, you can’t wing it on your own.
Proposing on an expected holiday
Don’t get us wrong, we love Christmas and Valentine’s Day, the 2 most popular days of the year for proposals. However, you can propose any other day of the year and chances are they will be even more surprised and it will make the proposal even more special. Yet, if the holidays are their favorite time of the year, go for it!
Telling your partner that you’re “settling
There is nothing romantic about hearing a long, drawn out speech about how “we’re not getting any younger, so I found you this ring…” Your Significant other wants to hear that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, not that you’re settling because they twisted your arm about it. If these are your reasons for getting married, maybe you shouldn’t.”
From 5 Mistakes Men Make When Proposing
https://www.yourengagement101.com/proposals/2010/03/5-mistakes-men-make-when-proposing/
4. If your significant other has gotten to the always expecting a proposal stage, you are going to have to step up your game for your proposal. In order to get that true surprise and not the one we have been practicing in the bathroom mirror, you have to take them out of their regular element and distract them from those expectations before you propose. Because no one wants to have to feign surprise, when what they want is genuine surprise.
“Planning the Proposal
The proposal itself should be a reflection of your relationship, and should focus on the person whom you’re asking to spend their life with you. If you’re ready to get engaged, you’ve probably picked up a thing or two about their likes and dislikes over the years. Try to make it as sensory an experience as you can, all tailored specifically for them. If your fiancée-to-be’s idea of a good time is a quiet evening making dinner at home, they probably don’t want a lavish Broadway production for a proposal. Less, sometimes, really is more, and romance doesn't have to be expensive as long as you make it personal. The proposal should match your relationship above all.
That said, if you’re stuck for your own ideas or have the funds to make it rain, by all means do it. Splashy proposals are in right now, and a whole industry of professional proposal planners has sprung up in recent years.
(A Proposal Photographer can help you to plan your proposal where it fits the two of you and your relationship)
“Don't propose without a plan.
Many partners get the ring in their pocket and they just want to propose immediately, with no plan. Your partner would rather wait a few weeks to get the proposal of their dreams then you propose on the front lawn after a nice jog.
“Bring a ring.
A piece of jewelry — whether it’s a traditional ring or something creative like earrings, an heirloom bracelet or something else — is a symbolic token of a proposal and engagement. Even when they say it’s okay that you didn’t bring a ring, they wish you had. That goes for the least materialistic person, as well as those who count karats.
Above all else, a proposal should be personal. They should know how much effort went into planning the occasion and it should be obvious that the person they loves crafted it specifically for them. There’s perhaps nothing that warms a person’s heart more than cold, hard proof that their partner listens to them, and a proposal is, in a way, the ultimate opportunity to show you’ve been listening. Has your significant other told you about a tree in a park in their childhood hometown they always used to climb as a kid? Could be a great spot for a surprise question popping. Was your first date at a concert seeing their favorite band? A surprise pair of tickets and an evening out followed by a proposal during their favorite song might hit the perfect romantic note.
If their friends or family are a big part of their life, consider involving them in the planning process or even the proposal itself. Anyone already in the haze of disbelief following a marriage proposal would be positively beside themselves if their best friend or parents were to “show up” shortly after the big moment, so if you know you can trust them with the secret, by all means include other people you know are important to them, especially since you’ll be sharing your partner with them forever.
Remember though, the more people who join this conspiracy of love and the more layers of complexity that get added, the pressure and ante both jump, so don’t forget to consider every possibility, including stage fright.
Whether you believe it or not, the night you propose will be one of the most nerve-wracking nights of your life. You will be jittery, you will be distracted, you will not seem like yourself to your partner. Bear down and ride it out, because the story of a well-planned wedding proposal is something they will be telling their friends and family about for weeks and will remember forever.
It may be just one day or night of the rest of your lives, but the effort you put into your proposal will show them what they can expect from you for the rest of your lives.”
From The Art of Proposing by Chris Nesi
5. Now, no matter what, you should know what you're going to say, do not wing it, it never goes as planned. Practice what you want to say because you're going to be nervous, so practicing gives you a better chance of saying it without fumbling or mumbling.
6. If you can, have someone prepped ahead of time to take photos and or video. The moment is so quick and so precious that you'll both want to have something to go back and look at or watch again after the excitement wears off.
“Hire a photographer
You are about to encounter one of the best days of your lives. This is a great moment to look back on, and an awesome opportunity to capture photos for your engagement announcement, party invitations, and guest book at the wedding.
Consider how they might be dressed
When coming up with an alibi to lure your future marriage partner into their proposal location, consider what they might wear to that location normally. If your future marriage partner will be mortified if they're in sweatpants for the proposal, make sure they thinks they're going somewhere fancy.
Record Yourself
If you can swing it, put your phone in your pocket and begin recording a voice memo so you can relive the moment at the tap of your fingertip! Or, you may even ask your photographer to put a mic on you to record the moment. After they say yes, you probably won’t remember what you said and neither will they! Once they realizes what’s happening, they will probably be in shock and kinda black out a little. Don’t worry, this is totally normal! It would be a great keepsake to have a memory of what you did say.
Bring champagne
You will want to celebrate right away!
Have a Post-Proposal Plan
After the Proposal, emotions are going to be high and the energy electric! Don't get off that roller coaster and then do nothing. Keep the energy up, have a plan in place. Maybe it's to go out to celebrate, have the parents on alert so that you can call and tell them immediately after, or have a small gathering come to join you or you go to them immediately after the proposal. You'll want to be able to really relish in the joy and excitement of the day.
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At the end of the day, no matter how the proposal goes down, it will be a great story that you’ll be able to tell for years to come. And remember, the best stories are the ones where things don’t quite go as planned! So go out there, make your 7th-grade-self proud, and get the girl or guy of your dreams!”
From Preparing for the Proposal
https://www.mastersoflightstudio.com/post/tips-for-guys-preparing-for-the-proposal
7. Good luck and hopefully congratulations will be in order soon!
